The universe had an opportunity to show me a thing or two. With my own life, there is still so much healing to be done. There will be plenty of blogs to describe the various stages of my personal healing, but, overall I wasn’t doing enough deep level self work. I was just putting a quick stucco plug on issues and hoping the dam didn’t break. But for me to truly live my life purpose and to share my challenges to inspire others to heal, I needed to go deeper. It felt like it was too cold and too dark down that scary alley of self, I just kept creeping side to side like the crab sun sign I am. But the universe didn’t care if I had guilt or self negativity – it was not allowing me to create my own punishment. So I got, yet again, another bang.
The universe was going to teach me a valuable lesson through experience. This time, using one of my beloved dogs- Bean. My black -slash- brown Tigger replica, lab mix rescue. He slammed full force into my thigh by accident and put me out of commission a bit for the past few months. The pain has been unbearable, some days with no relief. I thought it was sciatic and treated incorrectly, only to annoy it more. Then found out it was quad contusion, glute sprain and hamstring sprain. Which lead to hip misalignment, then for the whopper, the sciatic area became extremely inflamed, like the fireball inferno of the devil, flaring in my tailbone area. Chronic constant blinding pain forced me to give in and take Aleve. I have a high pain tolerance so this was bad. I became irritated easily and very impatient. I bless all the people still being around me through this beotch stage. Then one day, in my self pity, I thought~ this is how addiction can start. Needing something, anything to dull the blinding pain and not getting enough. I wanted to take more Aleve at this time, more than I expected I would feel I needed. Then I stopped. I got the lesson. I heard you universe (now stop the anguish haha). I am just as human and just as vulnerable as anyone. Addiction does not discriminate. I set up lots of appointments for my healing, with natural healers, because that is where I do best. I am in the healing process, but as I tell most clients, these pains are emotional. So, this healer is starting to heal. Starting to tap into the dark spaces that just had delicate plugs, beginning to repave these walls to be stronger and sturdier. As this is my learning, and my mission to share, I will look for ways to help when people are not getting better with their healing process~ integrating my skillsets and gifts to find where the real pain is. Exposing these holistic approaches, maybe someone can have a relief or a breakthrough that will minimize the desire to add more medications. Helping people, as we should, heal from whatever is holding them back emotionally or find alternatives to help the physical pain that has been keeping them from enjoying life. I might get more inspirations on ways to help and I look forward to them. At this time, I surrender to compassion.
In other worlds, Rest in Peace my beautiful friend. I hope I can help others in your memory. xo